Mystery-land

2010-09-13T01:32:00.001+08:00

Blog under construction...

2010-09-12T12:21:00.001+08:00

Nothing to write...

2010-09-10T23:25:00.003+08:00

These few days have been trying to find a blogskins to change, but didn't manage to find one that looks nice, happy and bright, so i guess i just have to stick to this. Furthermore, i think i forgot how to change the code, it seems that it doesn't come out to be what i expected. Hence, i give up le...

Though i'm not a person who gave up easily, but when it comes to this thing, which is not so important, i guess there is no point doing it. I prefer to use my time to watch taiwan and hong kong drama or sleeping rather than siting infront of the computer for 2 to 3hr to figure out and change the blogskin. Haha... I'm just too lazy. And the other reason is i really don't like to sit and stare at the computer for so many hours!! It's really tired and meaningless. However, you might been thinking that how come i can use the computer for even like 6 to 8hrs just to watch the taiwan and hong kong drama. Heex... its difference k, cos i was lying on the sofa or even bed to watch the show instead or staring and using my brain cells while surfing the nets or doing others thing.

These few weeks was quite busy!!! Busy planning and thinking of my future... not really future, maybe what i will be doing these 2-4 years ba. Some of them knows what i have been doing since i have already told you all. Some doesn't know... And i doesn't feel like telling u all here or whatsoever. Wait till you have met me or went for a gathering, then u will know... haha... Cos if you treat me as your friends or my friends, i don't mind telling you. But if u are not, i don't want to be gossip behind as a subject for the time being. haha... I'm a mystery GIRL if you really want to say!! Anyways, it's not a secret or big things, just that its not the time to say... at least that was what i was thinking now... cos everything is not fixed yet, and i'm still planning... haha... What i could say is ' the time is not right' for me to tell you all my plan here.

*** I guess i should let go and forgot some of the people... and i really mean it!! I seems to be losing some of my memory recently. So i guess its not hard to forgot. Maybe i will remember your face if i see you in facebook or whatever, but as for what happen in the past, i really can't remember. It seems to be deleted in my memory. Haha... I think its good to forgot some of the sad, unhappy, disappointed, angry memory in the past. I don't feel anything now. Or maybe i should say it doesn't mean anything to you all now. So let it go away!!! Haha...

I SHALL LIVE HAPPILY AND SMILE AS IT IS MY LIFE!!! =)

2010-09-04T03:10:00.005+08:00

Nothing to write at this moment....

2010-06-15T22:55:00.003+08:00

Three months have passed and i still at home doing nothing...

Beside going to work two to three days a week, i just rot at home. I know i got to do something or plan something to do, but i just don't know what else i can do at home beside sleeping, watching show online and eat. Haix... Super bored at home!!

And... I trying hard to control myself from eating at home but then still can't lose weight... still 52-53kg!!! Fainted... trying to lose weight but still cannot... argh... i need to lose to 48kg if not i really have to give away all my shorts to my sis or mei le...

I'm the fat girl at home NOW... that's wad my mei and sis keep saying about me... lol...

Shall continue next time... it's my 'dreaming' time...

>>> I'm really really bored at home!!!

2010-05-20T00:34:00.002+08:00

Here to blog again in the midnight...

Again not in a good mood...Can't sleep too...

Four days ago which was monday, went to my graduation ceremony. Didn't really feel that happy or sad even though i have graduated. Maybe its because there is nothing to feel happy or sad after that three years since i have let go of everythings in poly. Sometimes, i really wonder am i really heartless or my heart has gone 'numb'... lol...

The only reason that i have to come for the graduation day is because my god-kor has taken half-day leave to come for my graduation day. I really thanks him a lot for coming, at least i won't feel that lonely and weird on that day. I think the only time that i really will smile happily on that day, is when he come, cos i won't feel like I'm just a stranger or passer-by walking in the school. At least I know that there will be a person who will be really happy for me that i have graduated.

I think there's a nice ending in my poly life... cos i finally have a photo taken with him together... lol... -.-''

>>> All the best to those who have graduated...

2010-04-04T20:22:00.002+08:00

One month has passed... I'm still rotting at home. Nothing 'big' for me to do at home, its making me boring and super sianz.

Last week, the most major things that i had done at home is to translate an english version of my grandmother tenancy agreement to a chinese version. Its a super headache job for me but the good thing of internet is that u can translate a whole paragraph of english to chinese! But it sound weird for some sentences hence have to edit and change some words to get the same meaning. After spending like a few days, I managed to settle finish. Hopefully there is nothing wrong. Haha...

Then the rest of the time is spending on watching show, sleeping, eating and daydreaming. Nothing else...

Haix... What a boring life... I wonder how long will i be rotting at home...

I'm getting very sianx at home. But there's nothing I can do if i go out. Haix... Tired...

2010-03-12T15:56:00.002+08:00

Here to blog again...

One week has gone and i can't think of what i want to do for this month. Thinking of looking for a job, but somehow i can't find the courage to apply and go for an interview. I afraid of going on my own and also go for the interview. Maybe just afraid of failure, lonely, or lazy? No idea...

Went to SGH interview and didn't receive any call after a week. Does this mean that there is no hope and i should look for another job or they still thinking & preparing which mean i have to wait??? How long should i wait or maybe how long they will call? No idea...

The feeling of waiting is really not a nice feeling... especially when you think they might call but they didn't. All i can do is to put the phone near me to wait for any call. Am i stupid??? But beside waiting, what can i do? My first time going for an interview, wearing in formal wear. Hopefully i can get the job on my first try. Haha... But i realise its not that easy.

Nevermind, I shall wait for another week or maybe by the end of this month and on the meantime try to look out for any job available which i can apply. If it fail, it doesn't matter, just take it as a new experience. Haha...

>>> What a boring life i have now... I really getting bored at home with no job. I think i prefer a busy life than a boring life.

2010-02-07T19:53:00.002+08:00

After so long, I'm here to blog le...

Don't know why, I seems to be quite moody. Many things have happened and alot of thinking in my head is confusing me... Haix...

What should I do? Can someone really tell me ??

I guess not... Cos it does not seems that simple especially the things that happen around me are not caused by me. One is concern about my mei. The other one, i don't want to say le. The moment i think of it, the more i get angry and unhappy. Maybe if you ask, i may say it out... If not, just forget about it... I don't feel like thinking about it again...

Haiz... Why do i feel so unhappy all the time? Why alot of people can be happy as they are but not for me? Is it really because i keep thinking of alot of things that are unhappy? Maybe ba...

Maybe i should keep in contact with my god-kor more than once-a -month in the phone... cos at least i can really keep laughing on the phone and joke for a reason without being said that i laugh to myself for no reason for most of the time...

Shall stop here le... blog when i'm not happy again... lol...

>>> Hope things will get better, and i will be happy again... =)

2009-10-17T22:13:00.003+08:00

Today, i finally made up my mind to buy a book- FOLLOW YOUR HEART! Have been reading on it after i have brought it.

Hope that my thought will change after reading it and my life will also change with it... Haha...

STAY HAPPY... =)

2009-10-14T13:30:00.003+08:00

Holiday is going to come into an END!!! What i have been doing at home during my holiday is to watch taiwan drama...

After watching different types of drama, my thinking and emotion have been changing... Maybe i have mixed reality with all the show, but isn't show reflect things in the real world??

I don't know! But i can only say that HUMAN IS COMPLICATED! The world is also full of complex things that makes it also complicated... haha...

I think i have been brainwashed by all the show that i have been watching since young... haha...
Are you also the same??

Anyway, just finished watching a taiwan show recently called " Black and White - 痞子英雄" Haha... I was super impressed by the story... the truth will only be out if you followed watching till the end but then the mastermind still haven find out even after the end of the show... Maybe you should watch it to know what am i trying to say?

The stupid thing for me is that till the end of the show i get myself into a complicated mind!!! -.-'''
LOL...

what is Right? what is Wrong? What is true? What is false?

Are we the one who decide what we want? Or it is all decided from the start when we are born or by someone else? Haha... Can we choose what we want from the start??? Lol...

Will our fate and destiny be changed every second and every decision that we have made?

Who can tell me the answer??? Maybe nobody but myself or maybe you??? Haha...Maybe i should continue watching more drama to find out the answer....

Opps... I think i'm getting complicated liao! Dot dot dot... But this prove that i'm human cos human is complicated!! =.='''

I think i will go crazy one day if i still continue watching a lot of drama... -.-'''

Nvm... life itself is dramatic... watching more drama will make life more dramatic... Getting bit LAME le right...

---- Okay, i think enough of my nosense liao -----

- THE END-

2009-10-04T01:12:00.002+08:00

Time flies!!! What i feel now is full of FEAR!!

Another 2 more weeks I have to go back to school to study, i really don't feel like going... Can i just skip the next sem? or just let me repeat my attachment again? Haix... IMPOSSIBLE!! What a disappointed things!

Everyone is excited about going back to school but NOT FOR ME!!! I have nothing over there but fear...

What am i scare of??? I don't know... maybe loneliness ba... i really don't know what to do and how to spend my times in school...

I wish i can escape... from the school! I wish poly could be like primary school, just a small lies to cover for the need of MC to avoid going to school for many days, or even many weeks.

i always remember that i refuse to go to school when i was primary 2. All i do is to fake that i really overslept and can't wake up. Actually i was awake, but i just hate going to school cos there is no one over there with me. Though my jie is in the same sch but still its diff class. Hence, i didn't go to school for 2 weeks! But after that, thinking of the stupid plenty of homework waiting for me, i still go back to school. I can't possible escape forever.

Sometime, i really wonder is it my looks? or my behaviour? or my character? Why is it that i just can't be able to get close with people. Or maybe is because of my serious communication problem that people can't communicate with me? I really don't understand?

Or maybe is it because i was too serious with people? That's why i can't take their joke easily? I really don't know...

I really really scare.... All i want is to make friends with people around me... but why is it so hard? Why alot of them able to do so BUT NOT ME! I need help! But who can help me?

Am i really that hateful? I really don't know....

I wish to go back to sec sch times, cos only these period of times, i don't feel lonely at all! I have all my beloved friends, classmates and also teacher with me in school. But now, who will be together with me in poly? Classmate? Lecturer? I wish someone can tell me that they are my friends in poly... at least i won't feel so sad... i need the answer badly!

Hope that i can find people to celebrate on my poly graduation day, if not i guess i won't attend that day cos it only makes me unhappy. Hope that someone can change my mind... Waiting for people to come....

P.S : I still waiting...

2009-09-21T23:59:00.004+08:00

Here to blog again in midnight...

Hmmm... what should i blog today??? About myself ba!!!

Actually i have been reflecting myself, analysing myself, thinking of my character, my behaviour for a long time(since secondary) just to improve myself to be a better person. Erm, not that i'm not a better person now, it's just that there is a need to improve ourselfto be a better person than the past... That's what i think so, not everyone have to think as what i think... Everyone has their own thinking, so don't bother to agree with this if you don't think its right. Haha...

TEN THINGS ABOUT ME...

1. I have a bit of emotional unstable sometime! Meaning, sometime i can laugh for nothing, cry for nothing, crazy for nothing. Basically, i may have different expression and feeling at the wrong time. For example, i can laugh when i'm having menstrual pain and its the kind of pain that i can't even do anything. Plus most of them will feel moody but i'm not cos i can still laugh. Haha.. I can laugh when i stare or look at people's eyes for no reason. I can do crazy things at anytime when i feel super happy and the kind of crazy thing usually will give people a big shock, as if i'm not the person they know before... Haha...

2. I am hardworking and serious in my work! It seems to be better to others that its nice to be hardworking, but not to me. Because whenever i get serious in my work, i won't notice anything or anyone happens in my surrounding. Sometimes, i will throw my temper and start scolding people when they interrupt me. And most of the time, i didn't notice that i was fierce to that person until i finish my work and realise it. Furthermore, i tend to keep quiet when i was busy so that i won't scold people for no reason and hurt them. I think that's the time whereby i start to make people dislike me especially when they don't know that i will behave like this when i get serious with my work. I really didn't mean to fierce at anyone.

3. I feel super happy and high after i ate chocolate or ice-cream! I don't know why, but i just happen to be like this. Maybe i don't get to eat often hence i tend to get happy whenever i get to eat.

4. I feel like drinking alcoholic drink when i'm feeling depressed, disappointed, unhappy, frustrated or having mix feeling at the point of time. It just started last year that i started trying flavour alcoholic drink(4.8 -8% only) . Sometime, i drink to try for fun... lol... But i don't drink often. 2-3 times in a year ba... Plus I don't hit people after drinking!!!

5. I like to hit people especially guys! Actually i just hit for fun, just to test my strength! Most of the guys who i ever hit will never want to try letting me hit again anymore or try bully me again. Reason is i hit very hard! Haha... i still can't believe it cos my hand don't feel any pain after hitting. I just enjoy hitting people but only to guys! So girls no need to be afraid of me... lol...

6. I tend to believe people easily whether is it a joke or not. I choose to believe and trust what people tells me so long its not something that will hurt myself or others. For those gossip things or things that was saying something bad about a person, i will never ever believe it and remember it. Usually it just come in to one of my ear and out from another ear. I will only believe it if i see it with my own eyes, listen if it was said personally by that person. If not, i will just listen it and forget it. That's why nobody will gossip to me as nothings will come out from my mouth as i can't even remember anything to tell and pass to anyone. I don't gossip that's why alot of things i don't know!

7. I trust my own feeling and thinking! Alot of time, people will give advice whenever i face problem. I will listen but i may not accept all the solution or things that people had told me. I will analyse it, think carefully and make my own final decision. At least i won't have the reason to blame people if its wrong cos its my own choice afterall. I can only blame myself!

8. I hate people criticise me or other peoples especially when they also done the same things. Its like getting criticise, said or laugh for no reason. For example, person A do somethings that person B doesn't like and get criticise or laugh by person B. After sometime, person B also do the same things as what person A done before and yet didn't get laugh etc by others. Like that person B is contradicting lor... person A get criticise or laugh by person B for nothing... its kind of lame! I don't like this...

9. I cry easily! I feel like crying whenever someone scolded me, said something bad about me, criticise me, laugh because i do something stupid or even hit me lightly. Sometime i will cry immediately, but most of the time i will try to control and hold my tears. I will always tell myself to be strong and never cry for these small things. Now, i guess i won't cry anymore le, instead i will scold the person back! Haha...

10. I get to envy people easily and get depressed and disappointed! Whenever i see someone better than me such as richer than me, clever than me, happier than me, i will feel bit of jealous and start questioning why i don't have this, why i don't have that. But after sometime, i feel nothing le cos i start comparing other things. For example, i may not have this, but i have that which the person does not have. Then i will feel that heaven is fair to everyone. Cos you may not be able to have everything that you want. There is no perfect in this world. For example, a person may be rich and have alot of nice things that can use money to buy, but there are still somethings that they can't even buy, such as true happiness, love, concern, family and health. Hence, don't envy people, cos you never know that you are the one that people envy of... right??? Everyone should be satified with what they have now!

Hmmm... I guess that's all for today... write quite alot about myself... will continue to add if i think of somemore... night le... sweet dream to all... =)

2009-09-19T00:27:00.003+08:00

Yo yo yo... i'm here to blog again in midnight... haha... I guess today is the only time i feel super happy that i can't sleep... Reason? NO SPECIAL REASON BA!

Maybe is because i can eat ice-cream uncontrolled as my kor brought a tub of chocolate ice-cream today... haha... but the most probably reason is because i don't need to pay money for the ice-cream that's why i'm happy to eat until i'm ready to stop eating ba... lol... Not that i have no money to buy, its because i'm lazy to go to the nearby shop to buy when i feel like eating... hehe....

Next is because i can use my kor new hp to play games...those tap tap or slightly move the phone game... i don't know how to say... but there is a lot of game and its free la... haha... play until happy... lol....

Oh ya... somemore happy thing is i can keep disturbing my jie and mei when they are doing things... reason is i'm having holiday and they are not... so i can just knock their door for fun, walk to their room to show that i have nothing to do... i guess that's one of the activity to do when a person is free... TO DISTURB PEOPLE !!! haha....

Hmmm.... i guess that's the happy thing i do tonight le... lol...

I REALLY LOVE ICE-CREAM! IF EVERYDAY GOT ICE-CREAM, I GUESS I WILL ALWAYS SMILE UNTIL THE TIME I'M SICK OF EATING BA... BUT THAT DAY WON'T COME, COS I'M NOT RICH TO BUY A TUB OF ICE-CREAM EVERYDAY!!! I'M BROKE OK! LOL...

Happy... yo... haha...

Shall stop here... nite le... I wan ice-cream!

2009-09-14T00:54:00.002+08:00

Blogging at midnight again!!! Reason: I Just can't sleep!

Today is again a boring day, doing nothing but watching show..Haha... i guess i have to continue this till school open ba... wad a boring life.... haiz...

I feel like going out but yet i dun know who should i ask... all look so busy... i guess i just have to wait ba... but its going to be a long waiting... haha... nvm... i am use to waiting... lol...

-----

Today help my mei in her sec 2 holiday maths and history, and i realise i really like sec sch homework because i know how to do... lol.... i found back the feeling again... the feeling of doing maths question. Haha... maths is so easy...

I wonder if i really choose the wrong course... maybe i should find a course that is related to number and does not need much memorising work ba... haiz... i can't find any interest in my course anymore... All i have is just a responsiblity ba... to be a good student to finish my poly and get a nice grade just not to let my parent disappointed...

Or maybe i choose the wrong school to study this course? Actually from the start, i was thinking of going NP, but because my nurse god-kor and my jie is studying in NYP, i made the choice of going to NYP although my heart keep telling me to go NP.... My only regret is why didn't i go along with my feeling ba... maybe i can avoid alot alot of unhappy things ba... haiz... But afterall its still my choice to choose NYP.... no use thinking le... i can't travel back to time... just hope to peacefully pass my poly life... Faster let go my regret ba... haiz...

-----

Actually i have alot of regrets ba... most of it is because i didn't follow wad my heart tells me to do... i guess from now on i just follow my heart le, i'm not going to think anymore further, cos it only confuse my decision... i hate my brain...

-----

Dunno wad to write... minds alway empty especially at midnight... i dun even know what i'm saying and writing... haiz... forget it... not going to think le... stop here le... nite le...

= END =

2009-09-09T00:30:00.003+08:00

Haix... Here to blog again... basically i am bored... really bored!

2 weeks of rotting at home makes me emo? Maybe ba... I dunno why all the unhappy feeling comes out again le... maybe working makes me forget about everything and no times to think of all the unhappy things ba... that's why i enjoy my attachment and work super hard everyday by finding things to do... making myself exhausted and tired and sleep till morning after work. Haha... I have been working hard not to think of anything but my mind just keep remember all the bad memories from young till now and forget most of the happy moment... Sometimes i really wish that my heart has no feeling then i won't feel anything or i lose all memory then i can start anew? Haha... But i guess it won't happen cos my heart keep telling me that i will remember all the bad memory and thus it will remember... maybe u will say just dun remember lor! But is it that easy? Haha... NO!

Actually, all these year, i dun actually hate anyone or anything ba... cos i dun even know what is hate ba... All i want is just to happily make friends, study well, live my life happily with family member and friends. That's so simple! But yet its hard to achieve sometime. That's what make me feel dishearted sometime. All i wan is to get well with everyone but i just dunno why it came out with a mess??? Maybe it got to do with my weird behaviour, weird and exaggerated action and way of expression ba. That's why not much people can stand it? haha...Hope things will get well and better! I believe my angel will help me... Right?? That's what my store manger tells me...

Hmmm.... my post is fill with sadness again. Haiz... My main intention is to blog happy things but i just dunno why i always have a sad and complex feeling whenever i blog at midnight. Maybe that's the time where i get to see and hear what my heart is telling me and reflecting about all the things that i do and happen before ba...

This is ME! Well... will anyone believe it? I guess its all depend on how u see it ba... True or False depends on how well u know me also ba! Cos it came deepest in my heart which some people dun know ba... A little secret side of ME! Is it a secret now??? Haha... Maybe... Yes and No!

2009-09-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... dunno how to start...

6 months of attachment finally ended, and what i can say is i have a true experience on what will my future working life be if i wan to be a pharmacy technician. Actually, i dunno what i wan to work as after i graduate. Further my study? Going to university? I guess its a bit hard ba... What i wan to study? Even harder! I dun even know what i wan... haix... I have no goal, no thinking, no idea...

Can i just sleep at home, doing nothing?? Haha... I guess only if i get marry ba... lol... But i dun wan... and i dun think i have the chance ba...haha...WHY??? The answer is "my heart tell me so". I always have the feeling that i will stay single forever ba... I just not prepared ba to love a person... Anyway, just leave it to the future to decide...haha...still far so early to think of this...lol... Shall not talk about this... change topic!

During my attachment, i met different kind of people. Nice, kind and helpful preceptor, pharmacist and staff. Unreasonable or maybe some friendly customer. Haha... Overall still having lots of fun in working. Although its quite tiring and boring sometime. lol...

Erm...I met a female store manager in parkway which tells me alot about her love story. I dunno how to say,but its rather sweet but yet bit sad. Maybe because they are suppose and fate to be together but yet dunno why seperated. There is no reason from what i heard from her... haiz...Hope he will come and find her and happily together...

Hmm... Actually there is alot that she tells me which is quite interesting and unbelievable for some people.. but i guess i will tell next time ba...

Hmmm... shall i stop here? haha... actually i also dunno what to say... alot in my mind but dunno how to start... shall see if i get the mood to write ba...

That's all for now... NITE! =)

2009-02-09T17:01:00.003+08:00

Heex...Here I am...

Dunno why...these few days have been a very happy day to me...though there weren't any special thing that really will make me happy...but yet dunno why i just feel like smiling...

Is it because i start to realise that being happy doesn't require any special occassion, special things, or special reason to smile??? Haha...no idea...maybe i just feel like smiling then smile ba...just that simple ba...haha....not a bad thing isn't it??.. at least i am happy...and not sad...

Or maybe its because i start to become mature? or my thinking has changed??? No idea... I just feel that alot of things can't control ba... And since things can't be force or control then why still hold on to it and unhappy? Might as well accept it, let go and forget it and continue with my own life??? Isn't it???

There's still a long way for me to go...hence all I can do is continue to be brave, strong and happy...heex...Plus i have alot of people together with me...they will forever be by my side...hence i shouldn't be upset...haha...Should be HAPPY, HAPPY and HAPPY!!! Smile... =)

Exam coming in a week time...hope I can pass it with a good grade and then have a good start of my attachment... LIMEI JIA YOU LE!!! YOU CAN DO IT DE!!! Haha...

Will update again after my exam in three weeks later...Bye!

PS: Where is my mood of studying....Argh...dun hide le...come back...lol... -.-''' Nvm...i should be able to find it soon.... -.-!

2008-12-15T08:50:00.004+08:00

Yo Hoo...Here to blog again..haha...

It's the start of my holiday finally... Yippy yo!

And...now what i looking forward to is CHRISTMAS!!! I am super super excited for this year christmas... Not because of presents but gathering with sec sch friends...haha...

And I still haven think of what present to give for my mortal on that day? Argh...

I am left with only 1 week to think and buy...Who can give me some better creative idea??? I always not good at choosing presents. I only good at wrapping present...hmm.. not really that good but at least i am satisfied with the result of wrapping the present...its so fun playing with wrapping paper! Heex...-.-''' Dot!

Beside excited of coming christmas...I also looking forward for the rest of my holiday...heex...

I must watch at least 1 movie no matter what for this holiday!!! Cos its has been around 1 year plus since i watched movie at cinema. I guess i only watch 3-4 movie in total at cinema...haiz...Why my life so boring??? Right??? But to me...its ok... cos life really is boring if u can't find anything that can make u happy and still make use of the time.

I also want to eat alot to gain more weight...heex..

Hmm... i think i always mention about gaining weight during holiday...I really gain weight(around3-4kg) during holiday but then when school started, my weight start to lose..so in the end become back to the starting point... haha... But still i enjoy the eating process... cos i can eat without having to control...heex...

Ermm... guess i shall stop here ba...cos i start to get hungry whenever think of food... haha...got to find somthings to eat now...haha...continue next time le...bb..

2008-12-14T20:28:00.005+08:00

Yo! Here to blog after so many many weeks...hmm... I guess at least got 10 weeks ba??? Haha...

Since the days school has started, I have been super super de busy. But who will believe that I really that busy??? Haha... But in fact i really super BUSY!!! Sad to say that...haiz...

What am i busy??? Haha...guess whoever knows me... will know its REPORT again!!! But beside reports, there still tutorial which needs to hand in and mark for this sem...haiz...torture!!

So when school started, i am busy with all the reports, tutorial then project presentation and then practical test and lastly the common test which has just ended...

With lecture which always end till 5-6pm everyday, and plently of the reports, tutorial etc need to rush after going home...I only left with just the time for my sleep...haiz...don't even have time to rest and play and go out...haiz...then when there is no more report, here come the common test which i don't even have time for much revision...haiz... But glad its over now...cos it's finally HOLIDAY!!!

Haha...finally can rest at last after 10 weeks of busy life...

But i don't think i can rest for many days...cos there's still 2 reports, 3 projects and around 6 pharmary practice practical "tutorial" waiting for me...Haiz...and guess theres's more when holidays end...

And worse still the pharmacy practice practical 'tutorial' has to go to the retail pharmacy to get answer...haiz... IT'S A TORTURE!!!

Sometime i really don't know why i want to choose this course...I really regret la...but haiz...too bad...it's my fate, my life that i have choosen this...which is a torture for me now...haiz...But i accept ba...since its my choice...haha...

I guess just have to bear with it and accept it and do my best till the day i graduate...haha...it only left with 1 sem of attachment+ FYP and 1 sem of studying.

Since i tolerate and go through for at least near 1 years plus...I guess it won't matter for another 1 more year ba...haha...I won't give up so easy de...cos if i can't even get over this, how am i going to face the toughter path in my future...haha...Right???

So i just have to no matter wad just bear this busy life...haiz...

Hmm...its holiday now...so i should just enjoy it and rest more...not going to care about my work after i have a good rest...haha...oops..I not lazy..just wan to rest to walk longer(translate from chinese)...heex...

Hmm...guess have enough of my nagging and complaint...-.-''' Haha...Will come and blog again these few days to talk about others things...heex...I still have alot to say... haha... will continue next time...hmmm... it won't be my complaint le...haha...

ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY,EVERYONE!!! Happy holiday =)

2008-09-22T18:42:00.003+08:00

Heex.. here to blog again..

I'm not working anymore after a week!!! Heex... Not because i don't like the job or i get sack.. it just that to protect myself from getting hurt and scolding from the lady boss, i leave before i kenna... heex..

Alot of promoter get scolded for no reasons and I was the lucky one without getting any scolded before i leave...this has to thanks to the aunty cos she protect me from scolding by asking me to leave early before the lady boss start to pick on people to scold...heex...

I guess the following two week going to be a tough days for the other promoter who was not that close to the aunty cos they going to tolerate the lady boss who like to pick on people and scold...haiz..hope they will be fine and safe..

Hmm...now not working anymore le..should start to think what to do for the remaining holiday... i dun wan to rot at home...haha...

Now going for my dinner...hungry... heex...time to rest after working full day for the last one week... haha...

Will blog again soon...heex...

2008-09-14T16:15:00.002+08:00

I'm here to blog again.....

Haha.. It has been a long time since i am here to blog...lol..

Life still go on normal and okay, but at least i'm not that stress le cos its HOLIDAY!!! Heex...can finally rest and relax.

BUT BUT BUT...

I going to start work tmr le.. haiz..

Why do i always like to find things to do...should rest and play ma...-.-'''

But who ask me so poor... I need money to survive if not i'm going to be broke soon... lol...

Super nevous and scare now.. cos its my first time working as a promoter.. don't know able to do the job or not cos I don't know how to approach customer... ARGH.. hope i won't get sack so soon...haha...

Plus.. HAIZ.. Cannot go out, watch movie and do things that i wan to do.. Argh..

But nevermind, 21 days will soon be over.. after that i will have money to enjoy the last 1 week...heexx..

JIA YOU le limei!!! LOL..

2008-08-13T01:20:00.003+08:00

Haiz...

A total mess of my life now... mess up everything...

Don't know what to do...really don't know...

Can't focus on anything now...can't do anything now...

Exam coming in 1 wk time and yet I can't concentrate or study anything...Just don't have the mood on doing anything... I really tired of everything...

I hate myself...just what am i thinking and doing? I seriously no idea...feeling so lost...

Really feel like crying... feel like ending everything...feel like giving up everything...

Totally don't know what to do now...haiz...who can tell me what to do? who will be there for me now??? who can guide me out of the darkness...haiz...

HAIZ...

2008-06-02T00:30:00.005+08:00

Haiz...alots of things happened last week which make me feel so stress, bad, guilty and unhappy.

Stress is cos there are three tests plus reports need to rush last week.

Guilty and bad is cos i skip lesson becos i wan rush out the DDS report so that i have time to study for test. Haiz...skip three time...one on last last friday, one on last monday and one on last thursay... skip friday and thursday to rush the DDS report...it take up so many of my time la...sianz...and monday is to go home rest and sleep...cos stay overnight outside to study on the HBD test cos i can't concentrate at home...after the test, start to feel unwell cos i didn't sleep much, sleep only 3h and thus go home sleep till at night on monday then study for next test on tue. I think i will fail my basic pharm test cos i didn't even read much...not enough time for me...haiz...all the question is anyhow do cos nothing goes in and thus nothing come out to write...-.-''' hope i won't fail ba...haiz...if not i will get super disappointed of myself.

Unhappy is cos i begin to feel a great distance from my clinque...which i dunno what is the real reason... is it cos i skip lesson? is it cos i abandon them? Bad girl? Haiz...really no idea...i guess i really done something that make them disappoint on me ba... Dunno why... these few day without them...there's kind of some empty feeling...haha... maybe miss the time with them ba...cos there always laughter most of the time...make my school life better and happy abit with them...haha...

Hope things will get better ba...I dun wan lose anyone in the school and dun wan lose interest on going to school...School should be happy but i begin to see less of it...haiz...

2008-04-26T03:17:00.003+08:00

Where has limei gone to??? I hope I'm not lost in the dream...sleeping too much in the holiday and these few days and then disappear??? Haha...will be back to the original me soon... I won't change...juz that too many things bothering me thus make me tired and cannot be as relax as last time.... won't become "different" for too long...will soon be back de... haha...

i don't like the present me !!! -.-'''

2008-04-20T01:07:00.002+08:00

Continue......

Simple girl don't know what to update, what to say... loss of words after so many things happened but everything still alright to her cos she still can take it. She will be strong de... Heex... Alots of thought in her mind and she knows what to really do le for the time being but she won't tell anyone cos its a top secret to her. I guess only herself knows what to do to handle things of her own...haha...But whether is it a good way to handle the things then she don't know le. But it sure going to let her have a simple life...hahaha...To have a simple life, ones have to make her mind as simple as possible and think things in simple way and easy way...but whether this thought is it right or wrong...this she can't ensure it. But she believes what she thought always. Heex...

To be continue......

2008-04-10T01:56:00.004+08:00

Continue......

Haiz...Now simple girl really feeling so complicated le cos she don't know what to do. With lots of complicated thinking in her head but haiz...there is no solution to it cos the problem doesn't really come from her or maybe should say it concern about her...She don't know... Really really have no solution, there isn't a way to solve the problem when it concern of other person...Haiz...How she wish she can have a simple life...but since she already jumped to the complicated things, then no choice but to accept it???

If she knows that things will turn out to be so complicated now, will she still jump into it? Haiz...no idea...cos there is no turning back and she don't wish to give up now. simple girl not a girl that will give up so easy de... But simple girl very stress now...she don't know what to do and have no one to talk to...

Haiz...simple girl start to be complicated le and her complicated life start le and think will continue to be complicated for don't know how long...haiz.... hope it will end soon...

Simple girl just wan a simple simple life with each day spend very simple with no problems, no worries at all but why it seems so hard....ARGH!!!!

To be continue......

2008-04-09T23:33:00.017+08:00

A story of a simple girl begins here.......

In this small country, there lives a simple girl who wish that everythings could be as simple as what she thought, but it seems that things doesn't look that simple. In fact, it turns out to be complicated sometimes for her to really understand.

She lives in a simple home with her simple family members. The simple home makes her want to stay there forever and never go out of the house. This is because the outside world is too complicated for her to understand and get use to it. But she knows that she can't possibly stay at home forever. She needs to make friends, needs to go to school and study and needs to get in touch with the outside world before she turns into a frog. So, this simple girl has no choice but has to go out of the house to the complicated world.

Outside world may be complicated but still she likes the world a lot cos there are a lot of people she can make friend with and simple girl enjoys to be together with them.

Simple girl hates complicated things, she prefers simple things more. Simple girl just want a simple life with the people. But why people can be complicated sometimes??? haha... Maybe human bodies itself is complicated hence people is complicated??? But is there a need to make ourself complicated?? Anyway, she won't hate complicated people cos she can't possible hate herself as she herself is a human also...haha... sometime simple girl can be complicated too....heex....

To be continued......

2008-03-19T18:27:00.020+08:00

My third weeks of holiday

Another weeks of my holiday has passed and left three more weeks to go before school open… So what have I been doing for my third week???

12 March (Wednesday)

Went to play pool with Mich, Hui fen and Junyu in amk. Mich and I played in one table while Junyu and Hui Fen played with each other in another table. Then we also exchanged partner after playing a few round in our own table. Skill improved a lot cos still manage to hit in most of the ball but there is still a lot to learn … haha…. Look like I have developed more and more interest in playing pool after playing.

Fish and chip.......

The strawberry delight...super nice =)

After the dinner, went and walk around the amk huh and went to game arcade also before we all went home. Really have a great time out with them.

13 March (Thursday)

Didn’t go out today, instead I stay at home with my sibling. But it weren’t that boring to stay at home for the whole day cos kor buy the stacking of wooden block and we started playing it once he showed us. We played a few rounds and we all have lots of fun in it.

My mei =)

Pushing the wooden block out......

My mei again =)

My kor =))

Figuring which to choose......

The higher record that we can stack is around 37 if I didn’t remember wrongly. Haha… Hope can break the record next time but think will be quite hard ba cos till 30, the whole things already start to be instable and shake while pulling out the wooden block. Thus, really have to be extra careful in pulling out when it begins to be instable, if not the whole things will fall down and have to start over again…haha…

Actually what most important is not how high we can stack ba, instead in the process of stacking, I get to feel the feeling of kinship, closeness and happiness. It’s rather hard that sibling can get together well nowadays and even get to play together as we all grow older le and each have our own things to busy with. But I believe it’s not impossible to get together as long we all get to find the time out to get together and appreciate the time while we are together. Hope to have more of this kind of game with them even when we all grow even older after a few years later. Haha…It’s really so fun to stack the wooden block with a group.

14 March (Friday)

Again, get to play with my sibling, but this time round is play badminton with them at the nearby badminton court around my house. It really has been a long time since we played badminton. I think got at least 3-5 years ba or even longer? No idea…forgets about when is the last time we played together. But at least we get to play again this time round with my mei.

This is the first time that my mei get to play badminton with us and guess is the first time she played badminton cos she didn’t even know how to hit the shuttlecock, but at least got my kor to teach her patiently. She really very clever and fast-learner cos she get to knows how to hit the shuttlecock and hit it quite well after a few minutes. Haha… I still weren’t that good in badminton after so many years. Really have more to improve…

Played a few rounds with them and I already started to feel tired after sometime. It seems that I have to take a small rest after every 15min of playing. I guess I didn’t exercise enough for a long time ba since secondary school, hence get to feel tired easily and feel giddy after playing for long time.

After playing, went to buy ice cream and eat. This is what we usually will do after playing badminton when we were small. Haha… it still remains the same just that we are older liao this time… Haha…

Really have a great time and fun day with my dearest sis, kor and mei. Hope even 10 years later, we still can play together, maybe with our own children together too? Haha…think too far…-.-‘

15 March (Saturday)

Went to foster parenting again but this time round rather lonely there cos clement and my cliques didn’t go for the event, only saw 3 of my classmates which I weren’t that close with me over there. At first, thought clement and Lin will go then I won’t be lonely but end up both didn’t inform Jenyan beforehand then I have to go there alone. Haha…but still all right since it weren’t the first time I been there before.

This time I’m not posted to senior group, instead its junior group. Second time been to junior group but seems that I really not good at handling small children around 3- 6 years old cos things weren’t going smoothly over there for me. Three little girls that I get to interact over there seem to don’t like me a lot or maybe they are shy to stranger ba. Why will I say that? Continue reading and you will know…

For the first girl, I try to talk to her but all the time she didn’t even answer me and think didn’t even realise my presence…haha…am I transparent??? Then, for the second girl, I also try to talk to her but she really super quiet…but guess she really too shy ba cos she still get to listen to me and node her head when I ask her some question, just didn’t open her mouth and talk to me… So I’m not transparent after all…-.-‘. Then, during the playground time, she enjoyed herself and played together. Finally she laugh, smile and happy but still she didn’t get to say a single thing, she still remains quiet. Never mind, as long she happy and enjoyed herself then I really happy le…

Then for the third girl, really give me a big shock and fright cos she cried immediately after I bring her to the toilet. Not I make her cry!!! She wanted to look for her mummy and I really don’t know who’s her mummy is and where to find. So, she started crying and don’t want go back to the room with me. When other volunteer walk to me and talk to her, she cry even loud and a lot… give me a fright. But in the end, managed to find her mummy and she stopped crying at last.

Look like its better for me to go senior group ba cos two times in junior group really gave me a hard time there, maybe the children I get to look after, are all girl and are quiet and shy ba.

Then later went out with clement to amk. He waited for me outside the grassroot club for my event to end and we walked to amk to eat lunch together. After lunch, I try the honey cornflake and honey ginger tea he specially made for me. Haha… really taste excellent and sweet.

Then later, we went to playground after lunch. At first we wanted to go and play pool cos he wanted to see whether my skill really improved but I was really too tired after looking after children so we decided to go to nearby playground to take a small nap before going to play pool. But in the end, still didn’t get to play pool cos when we wanted to go play pool, it’s already full house and thus we just have to walk around in amk huh before its time to go home…

Though I feel tired after looking after the children, but at least I still get to be with lao gong for half the day till night after the event, so it weren’t that tiring after a whole day outside. Instead, I really have a great time and sweet time for my whole day.

Thanks clement for your honey ginger tea!! Though my cough still haven really recover fully after drinking and still cough a bit at night, but think i will recover soon after taking more rest ba, no need worry about me… haha... u really very nice and sweet, really glad to know u and have u as my lao gong now…haha….

That's what I have been doing during my third weeks of holiday. Hope there will be lots of interesting things happening in my next three weeks of holiday...haha... getting excited for my next three weeks…

2008-03-12T01:52:00.014+08:00

My first two weeks of holiday

Two weeks of holiday has passed and what have I been doing for that 2-week??? Shall write about it since I don’t know what to update.

27 February (Thursday)

The last day of exam, which also the start of my holiday, went to terminal 3 with my poly clique. Mind was filled with curious and heart with excitement when I first stepped into T3. T3 looks quite nice and Jas took a lot of photo on the way. Then we went to explore around the T3, and even managed to take the skytrain to the different terminal. It was so fun to go out with a group of friends. There’s a lot of laughter along the way. Hope to have more outing like this with them.

Wing, Jas and Lin

<--- This way to Terminal 3 by skytrain

Pointing each other...

Taking photo with petrina...

1 march (Saturday)

Went to foster parenting with some poly friends to take care and play with the children. It was the first time that clement went for the event and all of us were posted to the same senior group to play with children around 7-12 plus years old. I didn’t really get to talk much to him cos the main purpose is to play and take care of the children, not to go there chat with friends. But at least he weren’t emo-ing there most of the time, instead he seems to have enjoyed himself and played with the children.

After the event, went to amk with him and petrina to eat lunch and play pool. It was my second time been there to play pool. Skill has improved compare to my first time cos I managed to hit in most of the balls into the hole. Almost going to win clement but too bad still lost to him in the end when played with him only. But I managed to win petrina when played with her only. Haha…

Then willi came and he paired up with clement and me paired up with petrina. Thought we will lose to them at first, but we win them by luck. Haha… Their white ball went in together with the black ball and we win -.-‘. Then, we played the last round before we leave. This time, willi paired up with me and clement with petrina and in the end willi and I win them.

Then after that went to playground with clement cos I really don’t wish to go home so early and after that we all went home. Really have a great time with them for the whole day.

2 march (Sunday)

Went to East Coast Park with sec sch friends. Though my leg rather tired and still a bit aching due to standing too much on Saturday, but still went out with them cos it’s rather hard to really meet out with them and went out together cos not everyone is free after going to poly.

At first, we planned to go cycling but it rain when we reached there, so didn’t manage to go cycling, but at least still walk in the beach and see the sea.

Then went to play pool cos nothing to do at there. But looks like I really too tired till I really have no energy to play, keep losing concentration. All the ball that I wanted to hit and should be able to get into the hole didn’t get in. Haiz… Maybe my skill still not that good. Haha…

Then after pool, went to eat steamboat. It’s my forth time eating steamboat in this year, the first three time is during cny with my family member and I getting bit sick in eating it. However, still quite happily eating cos at least I was eating with a group of friends. But guess I eat too much meat, end up head feeling giddy after eating. Not only that, my hand even get clamped by toilet door and also head even hit onto the ceiling in the bus. Getting even blur le. Even though I was rather bad luck on that day, but I still feel happy and enjoyed my day with them. Hahaha…

8 march (Saturday)

Went to Yishun library with clement cos I really super bored at home for the past few days. Been wanted to borrow some books so that I don’t have to rot at home doing nothing beside sleeping and watching TV. I will turn crazy and become a pig soon if I keep staying at home doing nothing. Then lucky I managed to find someone wiling to go library with me if not I will have to go alone.

The library was quite far from mrt but at least on the way chat with him on what they do in the camp for the past two days if not I will get bored. From what he said, it sound so interesting but in the meantime it sound super tiring also. They had lots of physical activity in the camp and can only sleep a few hours. Lucky I didn’t go if not I think I already die over there.

Then reached the library and the library really very small, only one level but I still managed to borrow some books. Haha…

Then went to northpoint to eat lunch and went to playground in Yishun park. The park is also quite far from mrt. Haiz…Yishun really so big lor, playground and library is at opposite direction and both very far from mrt station. Haiz… but at least is went with someone and get to chat on the way if not ask me to go alone, I definitely won’t choose Yishun. Haha…Really enjoyed the day with him for the whole day.

That's where I have been and been doing during my two weeks of holiday with my dearest friends. Wonder what my next 2 weeks will be happening...hope there will be lots of interesting things happening in my next two weeks...haha... Happy holiday!!!

2008-02-28T18:15:00.004+08:00

A New Start!

See any difference in my blog? I changed to a new blogskin and deleted all my previous post. Actually there’s no special reasons, just don’t wish to be reminded of those past events happened in the past one year. Not because that past one years is all full of unhappiness etc, there is still lots of happy things happened, it just that since it’s the end of my year 1 course, then I shall keeps all the things happened in my year 1 as memories and move on with my life.

But thinking back…Year 1 was rather a tough year for me as there were always plenty of reports and projects chasing after me. Plus, there were also a lot of unhappy things happened in my class, making me exhausted and tired of those things. But think poly life is like that ba, can’t expect everyone in the class like each other, get along well. They are all going to be adult le, so there’s always be a best solution for them to handle it well ba… It’s better that I don’t interfere their ways of thinking and handling things ba…Let them settle their own things…just don’t make the class even messy can le… As for me, I shall not care much of the things in class le since a lot of things not concern much about me with them. So I shall lead my own ways of living…carry on with my happy life…forget and let go of everything in the past ba…haha…

It’s the start of my holiday le…must start to think on how to spend my time wisely in my 6 week of holiday. It also marks a new start of my life from now… hehe…hope everyone will have a happy holiday!! =)